“It is great fun, but there is so much pressure,” says Tim*, my coaching client. However, his face does not express that he thinks his job is great fun at all. When he started this job, he had high expectations: it was exactly what he was looking for and it was a place in which he thought he could develop himself a lot. Unfortunately, it did not go as planned.
Tim sighs as he tells his story. Gradually he got more and more stressed. There was very little room to do the things he liked – having contact with others. Instead, he was given other tasks that did not suit him. Deadlines, making quick decisions, performing. And all that without proper guidance. He looks down. He feels it is his fault. But if he were to leave this job, it would be very difficult for him to find work in this sector for which he was trained. Can I maybe tell him what to do?
In my coaching I come across a lot of people in their 20s and 30s who run into similar problems: disappointment, high expectations, a place that does not seem to fit. Sometimes a dream falls apart. And at the same time, they have the idea that they should really think it is great fun.
I cannot tell Tim what to do, but I can help him to figure out what he wants. What is the disappointment about? What are the moments when he does enjoy his work? And in which situations does he not? Whose high expectations is he trying to meet?
Ultimately, for Tim it is all about accepting that some things do not live up to his expectations. That creates space to look ahead. Within a few weeks, Tim finds another job in the same sector and now he says to me with a smile: 'I think it would be great fun to try it out'.
*a fictitious name and anonymized story